Absolution
by AkitoSin
Summary: Cas is the love of Dean's life, but everyone needs a little kink sometimes and when the need becomes too much Dean always calls on the same Demon. Cas and Dean Established relationship. Smut, M/M
1. Chapter 1

Ch1

It was complicated. Cas was the love of Deans life, he was the perfect partner, understanding, giving, and one fantastic lover, but everyone needs a little kink sometimes. When the urge got bad enough Dean always turned to the same person.

"Hello darling" the thick British accent sent a chill through the hunter.  
"Crowley" Dean's eyes burned with lust and he licked his bottom lip.  
"Just can't get enough can ya?" Crowley smirked as he approached Dean. He circled him like a wild animal looking the well-toned man.  
"Strip" he said in an even tone. Dean quickly cast of his shirt and toed off his boots as he began to unbutton his jeans quickly.  
"Slower" the demon growled. Dean rolled his eyes and slowed his actions pushing his jeans down and stepping out of them leaving his boxer briefs on as he stood meeting the demons eyes. Crowley smirked running his hand over Dean's chest enjoying the way his muscles tensed under his touch. He smoothed his hand lower running his finger along the elastic band of his underwear. Dean clenched his teeth. It was always the same slow torture, and he loved every second of it. Dean was rock hard now and Crowley let his finger dip inside brushing the tip of his cock with one finger. Dean inhaled sharply at the first contact. Crowley smirked and forcefully pulled Dean with his free hand in for a rough kiss, his tongue dominating the hunters mouth. Dean moaned his hands pulling the demon closer by his hips. Crowley's hand slid up into Dean's hair and yanked his head back hard.  
"Those lips need to be put to better use" he said releasing Dean pushing him away as he undressed painfully slow. When the demon was naked he took his own cock in his hand stroking it watching Dean squirm.  
"How bad do you want this?" Crowley spoke lowly stroking his thick cock.  
"Christ Crowley" Dean breathed he both loved and hated begging, and the demon knew it.  
"On your knees love" he ordered. Dean obeyed licking his lips. Crowley smiled  
"Good boy, now...suck"  
Dean didn't hesitate he took the demon into his mouth as deep as he was able sucking swirling his tongue around the rigid length. Crowley moaned running his fingers through Dean's unruly hair. He gripped his hair hard and began to fuck that pretty mouth. Dean moaned as the demon began to thrust in harder. He chocked, tears welling in his eyes, as Crowley used his mouth. Crowley bit his lip watching the man take every inch of him between those soft cock sucking lips. Suddenly Crowley pulled out.  
"Skivvies off lad" he said and Dean stood pushing his boxer briefs down his own cock leaking with need.  
"Turn 'round" Dean complied facing away pushing his ass out. There was a loud crack as Crowley brought his hand down on one side of Dean's ass. Dean growled

"More" he breathed through clenched teeth. Crowley smiled as he watched the perfect skin turned red. He brought his hand down again and again each time Dean moaning and cursing until his ass was on fire. Crowley finally stopped, panting and admiring his work.  
"Lube?" He asked Dean reached for his bag and pulled out a tube tossing it to the demon and taking his position on all fours in the bed. Crowley slicked up two fingers. Dean felt his weight on the bed. Crowley spread Dean's legs further and rubbed his slick fingers against his entrance. Dean moaned pressing back against the digits, Crowley smiled  
"Look at you, such a dirty boy, how you moan and writhe like the little whore you are" he breathed against the back of Dean's neck. Dean greet his teeth  
"Just fucking do it"  
"What?...this?" the demon slammed his fingers into the man's tight ass.  
"Oh fuck!" Dean bit out letting his head droop as Crowley began to fuck him feverishly with his fingers. Curling them inside pressing hard to his prostate before repeating the entire processes over again. Dean was panting moaning, it was why he needed Crowley, to get rough with him.  
"Yes, fuck" he moaned. All too soon Crowley pulled his fingers free. Dean heard the lube open again and knew he was about to get what he really wanted. Crowley pressed the tip of his thick cock to Dean's hole rubbing against it but not pressing in.  
"I want you to beg" his voice gritty and dark. "I want to hear the words come out of that pretty little mouth" Dean whined trying to press against him.  
"Fuck Crowley fuck me, I want it" he breathed his voice laced with need "I want your cock in my ass plea…!" before Dean could finish the sentence Crowley was balls deep inside him thrusting furiously. Dean fisted the bedding trying to steady himself as the demon fucked him hard. Crowley was huge, and it stung as he stretched him but Dean loved it, the pain was half the fun after all. Crowley gripped Dean's hips tight bruising his skin as he continued slamming into the hunter mercilessly.  
"Yes, fuck I'm so close" Dean moaned as Crowley's cock slammed against his prostate over and over. Dean gripped his cock in his hand stroking fast bringing himself to orgasm. He shook as he came,  
"CROWLEY!" He screamed out as he came onto the bed. Crowley let out a wild cry as he came into the hunter, filling him with his hot release. Dean buried his face in the bed. The guilt almost instant. He winced as Crowley pull out. With a quick snap of his fingers he was dressed straightening out his tie.  
"Until next time darling" was all Dean heard before the demon disappeared. He got up and quickly threw the bedspread under the bed, threw his lube back in his bag and took a hot shower. Self-loathing washed over him as the water washed away all the evidence of his indiscretions.

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Ch 2 coming soon

Please Read and Review!


	2. Chapter 2

Ch2

In the beginning

(Six months earlier)

Dean paced the room as Sam read the latest list of victims in a town two states over.

"We need Cas" Dean said Sam nodded. Dean pursed his lips "Cas get your feathery ass down here, we need your..." Cas appeared behind Dean.  
"Yes" the angels gruff voice interrupting Dean's prayer. Dean jumped turning around quickly.  
"Damn it! Why don't you ever appear in front of me" Dean said his heart racing.  
"My apologies" Cas said in a dry tone "what do you need my assistance with?" Sam spoke up as his brother recovered.  
"There's people going missing, no signs of sulfur, or ectoplasm, hex bags, or...anything...there just gone" Sam explained.  
"I see, I'll look into it" Cas said. Sam looked at Dean who was starring at the angel with a familiar look on his face. With a ruffle of feathers Cas was gone. Sam scoffed.  
"What?" Dean asked looking at his brother.  
"Nothing it's just" Sam looked at Dean raising an eyebrow.  
"What Sammy" Dean's tone was impatient "something you wanna say?" Sam's lips twitched into a smile.  
"The way you look at Cas" he laughed "you like him" Dean furrowed his eyebrows  
"Of course I like him, he's our friend". Sam nodded still smiling.  
"Yeah but you like like him, I saw the way you looked at him Dean, like the way you used to look at anything with breasts" Sam said. Dean blushed slightly. He had been crushing on Castiel but had no idea it was so blatantly obvious. Unable to come up with a decent excuse he just made a face.  
"Shut up" was what he came back with before picking up his coat and keys.  
"I'm gonna get dinner, call Bobby see it he has any leads" Dean said avoiding the subject completely. Sam laughed

"Yeah alright" he shook his head and picked up his cell as he heard the engine of the impala turn over.

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It was sometime late, Dean woke looking around the dark room when his eye caught a figure sitting on the edge of his bed. He flinched cursing softly.  
"Cas...what's up?" He said sitting up rubbing his face. "Did you find out anything about the missing people?" He asked Cas shook his head, averting his eyes from Dean. Dean suddenly realized he had a raging hard on and quickly pulled up the blankets into his lap. Dean looked over at Sam who was snoring and then back at Cas who's electric blue eyes were locked onto him. Dean swallowed.  
"Uh, so listen, there's ah, something I actually wanna talk to you about" Castiel starred unwavering at Dean which made him all the more nervous about what he was about to say.

"I like you" Dean said with a nervous smile his eyes moving from the angels eyes to his lips and back. Cas parted his lips

"I know" Cas said "I feel the same bond between us" he smiled and Dean let out a breath he hadn't realized he had been holding. He smiled a bit

"So uh, I mean can I?" He trailed off biting his bottom lip, Cas tilted his head  
"What?" His cluelessness was one of Dean's favorite things about the man. Dean took a deep breath

"Can I kiss you?"  
Cas looked at Dean for a long time before he nodded slowly. Dean leaned forward and softly pressed his lips to Castiel's the instant their lips met it was electric, Dean parted his lips as did the angel and caresses his tongue softly with his own. Cas made a soft noise at the back of his throat that went straight to the hunters cock. Dean pulled back breathing heavy. He knew that Cas had never had sex and didn't want to push him, but he wanted, needed so much more. Cas as if reading his mind narrowed his eyes

"I want to solidify our union physically" he said very straight forward. Dean smiled

"Okay" he looked at Sam. "but not here zap us somewhere else, another room or something" Dean had the foresight enough to grab the lube from his bag before Cas touched Dean's shoulder in an instant they were alone. Dean was still hard but he noticed so was Cas. He breathed heavily pushing into the angel and gripping his hips grinding there cock together. Dean moaned as rubbed against Cas. Cas didn't know what to do with his hands, so he copied Dean's actions holding the other mans hips. It felt good rubbing against Dean and was causing his body to heat up, he was making noises that he'd never heard pass his lips.  
"Dean" his voice shook slightly Dean knew he didn't know what he was doing and wanted to make this the best he could for Castiel's first time. Dean decided it may be easier for him he got undressed first, he pulled his shirt over his head and slid his boxers down standing completely exposed in front of Cas. He slowly began to undress the angel sliding his trench coat off his shoulders along with his suit jacket, and slowly began to loosen his tie, pulling it over the angels head. He then went to work on the buttons of his shirt, making quick work of it and added it to the pile of discarded clothes. Castiel watched as Dean undressed him his cock twitched as Dean's hands reached his belt. Soon he was fully nude, and Dean led him to the bed laying him down and crawling up him softly rubbing their bodies together. The angels skin was so soft Dean let his hands touch every inch of angel.

"You can touch me, any way you want" Dean breathed kissing Cas again. The angel began by running his hands over Dean's face, down his neck and over his broad shoulders, Dean moaned as Cas began to touch him, he rubbed their cocks together panting heavily.  
"That feels really good" Cas breathed trembling under Dean. Dean began to kiss his neck slowly kissing his way down his body before he was face to face with his cock. Dean's tongue licked the tip. Cas moaned lowly  
"Dean is this sanitary?" He breathed Dean couldn't help but roll his eyes.  
"Does it feel good?" He asked. Cas nodded "then I'm gonna keep doing it, it's a normal part of sex" he reassured him. Cas swallowed nodding again. Dean slipped his cock between his lips taking him slowly into his mouth. He may have seemed to be confident but he had never done anything like this, he sucked slowly taking as much of the angel as he could before pulling back just as slowly. Castiel moaned gripping the bedding he had never experienced this kind of pleasure and he was making noises he didn't know he could. The moans boosted Deans ego and he pressed his tongue hard to the underside of his cock swirling it around the tip.  
"Dean..." Cas moaned "something's coming, I can't stop it...I" Cas groaned deeply as he came for the first time in his life. He felt a wave of euphoria pulse through him hard as he released in Dean's mouth. Dean felt the pulse as Castiel flooded his mouth with thick hot liquid. He swallowed not even hesitating moaning at the bitter taste. Cas shook his fists still clenching the bedding as Dean rose.  
"I'm sorry I don't know what happened" Cas started but Dean shook his head.  
"It's normal, it's supposed to feel good"  
"It felt incredibly good" Dean leaned over Cas and kissed him feverishly his own cock now throbbing angrily.  
"Good, I want to keep making you feel good"  
Cas licked his lips his eyes moving to Dean's mouth. Dean smiled nervously "you sure you want to do this...with me" Cas looked unto the hunters eyes his mind had been made up long before this night.  
"Yes, I'm sure" he said "what do I need to do?" He asked. Dean uncapped the lube spreading an overly generous amount on his fingers.

"Just ah, spread your legs" This was new territory for Dean as well but he knew the mechanics he slowly pressed one finger into Cas earning him a sharp intake of breath.  
"Relax, if it starts to hurt you let me know" he breathed watching Cas. Castiel nodded it felt strange, foreign but not painful, Dean slowly worked his finger inside him, Cas was tight, he knew he'd have to stretch him a lot more before he could enter him. He slowly added a second finger Cas moaned. Dean was panting watching Castiel come undone at his hand.  
"Are you okay?" Cas nodded pressing against his fingers.  
"More" he said. Dean added the third finger. He could wait much longer he curled his fingers and Cas cried out that must be his sweet spot Dean thought. He hit it again. Cas was moaning his hips bucking as Dean's fingered him. Dean bit his lip hard. He withdrew his fingers and coated his cock in the slick liquid pushing his hips between Castiel's thighs. Cas starred up at Dean as he slid into him. His mouth hung open as Dean filled him Dean took his mouth kissing him deep as he seated himself completely. He kissed the angel as he let him adjust to his size.

Soon Castiel was moving against Dean his hips rolling towards him. Dean took him slowly his thrusts like waves as his started a slow pace. Dean had never been with a man and Cas felt incredible, so tight, and hot. Dean kissed his neck leaving deep marks. Cas was panting moaning in his ear. His breath heavy and warm.  
"Are you okay?" Dean whispered in his ear.  
"ye, yes, it feels...so good" Cas moaned and Dean increased the pace.  
"Yeah, geez Cas I've never felt anything so amazing" Dean breathed the two starred into each others eyes. Cas had studied Deans face a million times, the curve of his nose, the sprinkle on freckles that crossed over it spreading to the top of his cheeks. His round mouth. Dean was lost in Castiel's blue eyes, he'd never thought he'd see them like this gazing at him with lust, and need. Dean leaned forward and kissed him again. Driving harder into Cas. The angel moaning into his mouth. His hands gripping Dean's back tightly.  
the room filled with the sound of their moans, heavy breathing,. Dean was close and he leaned back enough to grip Castiel's cock in his hand and stroke it in time with his thrusts. Cas instantly came undone he threw his head back against the pillow crying out as he came again. Dean felt him tighten around him and his hips jerked as he came hard with a low moan. When they had both come down Dean pulled out and laid next to Cas.  
"That was incredible" he breathed kissing the angel all over his face. Cas smiled a true smile so happy that he had experienced this moment with Dean.  
"Thank you" he said grinning in the afterglow of his orgasm. Dean smiled wide pulling the angel into a deep kiss.

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Okay I hope everyone is enjoying this, please read and review.


	3. Chapter 3

Ch3

Castiel appeared in the motel room sighing heavily. He could hear the shower running and sat on the bed waiting patiently for his lover to emerge. After a half an hour Dean came out a towel wrapped around his waist. He smiled seeing Cas. The angel rose and embraced the hunter.  
"Mmm I missed you" Dean said kissing Castiel's neck. Cas made a soft noise in the back of his throat.  
"And I you" his low voice answered back. Dean pulled back and kissed him properly, slowly taking his soft lips with his own. Cas melted into Dean's touch. They had been together for nearly a year now, and Dean feel more in love with the angel every day. Sam had been accepting of Dean's choice, even explaining that he thought Cas was just what Dean needed. They had taken to renting separate rooms when Cas was around which Dean was more than grateful for.

Cas moaned into Deans mouth lightly, his hands wrapping around his waist and pulling them closer. It had been a week since they were together and the angel craved Dean's touch. He cast off his trench coat and toed off his loafers. Dean pushed his suit jacket from his shoulders and loosened his tie. Cas bit his lip and pulled the towel free from Dean's waist. Dean's fingers worked the buttons on his shirt adding it to the pile of clothes in the floor he laid Cas on the bed kissing down his neck and over his clavicle Castiel moaned as Dean's tongue tailed a hot trail of saliva down his chest. Dean took one of the angel's nipples in his mouth sucking the sensitive flesh until it was hard between his lips. He moved to the other, the angles breath hitched the things Dean could make him feel were nothing less than amazing. Dean rubbed Castiel's hardness through his trousers.

"Dean" his voice was low and lined with need. Dean panted his lips parted as he undid the angel's belt and pulled his trousers and pants down in one move. Dean licked lips leaning down licking at the tip of Castiel's cock.  
"Mmm, yes" Cas breathed lowly. Dean smiled watching him as he slowly took him into his mouth. He worked his tongue on the underside of his cock taking him deep. Dean loved Castiel's cock, the way it felt passing his lips, his girth in his mouth, and the taste of his flesh. Cas moaned out as Dean took his time worshiping his cock.  
He waited until Cas' breathing became shallow his hips rolling towards Dean pushing himself further into his mouth.  
"Ah, Dean I'm close" he panted. Dean smiled around him flicking the tip with his tongue pushing against the slit before taking him fully in again sucking hard. Cas fisted the bedding as he began to come undone.  
"Yes, Dean I'm almost...ha, don't stop" Cas arched off the bed as he came hard into the hunters mouth. Dean swallowed ever drop Cas gave him. Cas bucked his hips, slowly fucking Deans mouth as he rode out the pleasure. When Cas stopped Dean pulled back wiping his mouth. Cas was panting opened mouthed his eyes alive with lust.

"I need you inside me...now" he breathed. Dean grinned he loved to see Cas this way. He retrieved his lube and slicked up two fingers pressing gently into his lover. Cas moaned closing his eyes. Dean licked his lips watching every change in the angels face as he slid the second finger inside. Curling them slightly Cas cried out making Dean's pride swell. His own cock throbbed painfully but he was having too much fun watching Cas moan and writhe beneath his touch.

"Oh Cas you're so beautiful" Dean breathed leaning in and catching his lips with his own. Cas moaned into the kiss as Dean stretched him, adding a third preparing him fully.

Dean couldn't wait any longer. He removed his fingers and lubed himself up pushing between his legs, and slowly sank into him keeping their bodies pressed together. Cas was lost in Dean's green eyes as he stilled inside him, completely seated. It was always like this when they were together. Pure, raw, heat, and passion like neither had ever known. Cas pulled Dean into a heated kiss wrapping his legs around Dean's ass.  
"Move" he breathed. Dean slowly pulled his hips back and pushed back in, building a slow pace.  
"Ah, you feel so good" Dean panted biting at Castiel's lips. Cas moaned in response. Dean began to increase the pace causing Cas wrapped his arms around the hunters back gripping his shoulders pulling them closer. Dean kissed him over and over as he made love to him. Both of them growing louder as the room filled with the sound of their moans and slapping skin. Dean pushed up on his arms and gripped Castiel's cock stroking it in time with his thrusts.  
"Dean! Ah, I'm going to...again" Cas moaned as his grip tightened on Deans biceps. Dean felt the angel's body grow tense, muscles contracting as Castiel came again with a loud groan. Dean thrusted twice more the tight heat too much to bare he came filling the angel before collapsing on top of him, showering his with kisses.  
"Oh my...Cas that was...fuck" Dean panted gently pulling out and laying on his side. Cas nodded still trying to catch his breath. The angels bright blue eyes bore into Dean and the hunter felt a twinge of guilt. He couldn't keep doing this. He was in love with Cas though the words had never passed either of their lips. Crowley was a stress relief Dean had no feeling for him beyond the sexual domination the demon held over him.  
"Cas..." Dean began "I have something I need to tell you" he swallowed hard his eyes moving from the angels eyes to his lips. He couldn't do it he could hurt Cas, ever. He bit his lip and sighed.  
"I love you" as he said the words his heart stopped. Cas searched the man's face and a whisper of a smile passed his pale lips.  
"I know" the angel said with a smile "and I've always loved you Dean" he said kissing the hunter again. "since the first time I touched you" he put his hand over the burned imprint of his hand on Deans shoulder. Dean closed his eyes. He was done with the Crowley bullshit. He was Castiel's he'd make do without the kinky shit. He never wanted to hurt him. When Cas pulled back he bit his lip.  
"Can I ask you something?" Cas was giving him look, the questioning curiosity that Dean loved.  
"Anything" Dean breathed nuzzling his neck nipping playfully at the skin.  
"What is it that does Crowley do that you keep calling on him for sexual favors?" Dean's heart stopped, as well as his lips he pulled back looking at Cas with wide eyes.

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Hope your all enjoying the story please read and review.


	4. Chapter 4

Ch 4

"How did you...I mean" Dean stumbled through his words. "Shit Cas, I never wanted to hurt you" he said quickly, sitting up. Cas tilted his head.  
"You haven't" he said flatly "I know you don't love him, I just want to know what he does that I can't do" he said it so matter-o-factly. Dean was taken aback by his frankness. He rubbed his hands over his face.  
"It's just sex, I, he" Dean sighed "sometimes I need to be dominated"  
"How so?" Cas sat up leaning against the headboard trying to understand.  
"He uh, he spanks me, talks dirty, fucks me" Dean felt like a whore just saying it out loud, but Cas deserved the truth. Cas nodded.  
"I can do that" Cas said. Dean looked up at him. There was no hurt in his eyes, no judgment, which just made Dean feel worse.  
"I didn't want to ask you to, it all seems so...dirty" he frowned. Cas pressed his lips together the way he did when he was thinking. Dean swallowed waiting for Cas to say something. Dean finally broke the silence.  
"How long have you known?" Dean asked.  
"Since the beginning, I thought he was giving you something you needed, something I couldn't" Cas said. Dean hung his head.  
"Dean" Dean looked up into his lovers eyes "I don't hold any animosity toward you, I want you to be happy"  
"I don't deserve you" Dean began but Castiel cut him off.  
"I don't think it's wise to see Crowley, he's not to be trusted" Cas said very seriously. Dean nodded.  
"I agree, I won't call him again" he reassured the angel. Cas forced a smile.  
"Dean, these things you need, even if their taboo I want to do them, I want to make you happy, to satisfy you wholly." Dean kissed Castiel deeply he didn't know what he did to deserve a lover so absolutely perfect. Cas' kiss was rougher than usual he bit at Dean's bottom lip.  
"As much as I love it when we make love, I understand the need for more" he said "I too desire it" Cas said with a slight blush. Dean bit his lip.  
"You know… I could, show you" Dean said hesitantly. Cas licked his lips his eyes blown wide with lust.  
"Show me Dean" he said his voice low laced with need. Dean bit his lip, was he really about to take the man down this road. His angel. Dean sighed he hadn't expected this turn of events but he was happy Castiel was so understanding.  
"I'll go slow, if you like something tell me and I'll keep doing it if you don't like something tell me and I'll stop" Cas nodded.  
Dean swallowed as he helped Cas onto his hands knees and tapped his hand lightly to his ass, gauging his reaction. He hit him a little harder. Cas jumped at the first hit, surprised at the excitement it sent threw him. Dean brought his hand down harder a loud cracking sound echoed in the room. Cas inhaled sharply, pushing his ass out more. Dean was shaking it felt so wrong to do this to the person he loved, but Cas seemed to be enjoying it. Dean continued to spank the angel.

"I like to be spanked" he said breathing heavy. Cas moaned.

"I think I like it too" he said looking over his shoulder with a devious smile. Dean smiled

"Yeah?"

"Yes" he moaned "do it again…harder" he said lowly. Dean was instantly aroused by Castiel's words. He brought his hand down again and again until his ass was bright red. Cas was panting hard, his cock leaking with excitement. Dean smoothed his hands over Castiel's perfect round ass now hot and red. Dean took his time, teaching him the more depraved sex acts he'd picked up from the demon. The hardest for him to do was teach the angel how to talk dirty, but Cas was eager to learn. Before long Cas was fucking him, Dean's legs slung over his shoulders, as he fucked him hard.

"That's it, take my cock" Cas breathed "take it all" he said pushing harder into Dean who was completely lost in his words and actions. Cas was good at being aggressive, and at times a little too rough as his strength out matched Dean's by ridiculous standards.

"Touch yourself" Cas breathed "I want to watch you cum all over yourself" he said licking his lips. Dean did as he was told and within seconds he was near his end.

"Fuck baby, I'm there, I'm, oh fuck!" he cried out as he came. His release splattering against his stomach as Cas continued to fuck him letting Dean's ass milk his orgasm from his body. He cried out Dean's name as he came inside him for the first time. Cas was shaking as he pulled out and laid over Dean.

"Was that good?" he asked feeling uncertain. Dean smiled pulling him into a heated kiss.

"Yes, shit Cas that was amazing" he said starring into his lovers eyes "I love you" he breathed. Cas smiled wide

"I love you too" they stayed wrapped up together for a long time before Dean finally asked.

"Can you stay?" he asked softly. Castiel sighed

"Not tonight, but I'll stay until you fall asleep" he said. Cas true to his word stayed till Dean fell asleep and pressed a soft kiss to his forehead before he dressed and left.

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Thank everyone who is following the story and don't forget to read and review.


	5. Chapter 5

Ch 5

Crowley appeared looking pissy he took a few steps forward.  
"So that's it then" he stopped his hands shoved in his pockets of his expensive black coat "you think you can just teach your angel a few tricks and you don't need me anymore"  
Dean scowled at him. He hated that even now all he could think about was the demon taking him.  
"Yeah, that's it" he said keeping up the facade. Crowley chuckled.  
"You're a terrible liar" he sauntered forward. "I can smell your arousal" he was close enough that Dean could smell him, the thick dark spice smell that was so distinctly Crowley. Dean closed his eyes inhaling deeply, his jaw clenched in determination.  
"He'll never be me...he lacks the thing you need most" Crowley purred in his ear. Dean clenched his fists, God he wanted him, to touch him, to taste him just one more time.  
"The darkness" Crowley bit Dean's ear hard Dean wasn't able to stifle the low moan that rose from his throat. Suddenly Dean's hands gripped Crowley's coat by the lapels and kissed him hard. His tongue pushing inside his mouth dominating the kiss. Crowley's hands pushed against Dean's chest causing them to fall back onto the bed. Dean gripped Crowley's short hair and pulled his head back violently biting his neck hard enough to almost draw blood.  
"Mmm yes" Crowley purred "violence, anger, you really know how to turn a demon on" he chuckled.  
"Shut up" Dean growled grinding his hips up into Crowley.  
"Too many cloths love" Crowley whispered and with a snap of his fingers they were naked Dean's hard cock rubbing against Crowley's.  
"fuck!" Dean bit out through his clenched teeth. This was wrong, he loved Cas, but Crowley did something to him he couldn't describe. Turned him into a wild animal. Deans blunt fingernails dug into Crowley's arm as he kept rubbing against him. Crowley smirked.

"Tell me want you want" he purred.

Dean cursed he wanted not to feel this way, not to want the demon.  
"I want you to fuck my mouth" he said in anger and shame.  
"It'll be my pleasure" he said pulling Dean up onto his knees and standing in front of him. He rubbed his already slick cock over Dean's lips before pushing inside the wet heat of the hunter's mouth. He gripped Dean's hair and began to fuck him. There was no slow and steady with Crowley, just violent force. Dean choked as he speed up, his eyes watered.  
"You like this don't you, choking on my cock you dirty little whore" Crowley purred slamming his cock down his throat. Dean wished he didn't but he did, being degraded by Crowley turned him on and made him sick. Dean moaned around Crowley as he kept his brutal pace.  
"That's it pet" Crowley moaned. Dean opened his throat and let Crowley have his way with him. He didn't want to think about what he was doing, he just took it . It wasn't long before Crowley was moaning and releasing down Deans throat. He pulled out Dean coughed as he was able to breathe again. He swallowed the bitter taste that was Crowley's cum. Crowley smiled  
"You've been so obedient, I think you've earned a reward" Dean looked up into the demons eyes confused as Crowley pushed him down onto the bed and spread his legs wide. All the while never breaking eye contact. He leaned between Dean's legs and licked his entrance. Dean exhaled hard it felt amazing. Crowley began to work his tongue inside the tight heat Dean threw his head back arching his back making incoherent noises. In his mind he knew how wrong it was.

"Fuck, Crowley I can't do this, not with you" Dean said trying not to enjoy it as much as he was. Crowley growled. Pulling back and shoving two fingers into Dean without warning. Dean cried out as the demon fingered him without lube.

"Fuck Crowley you're hurting me" Dean cried

"Good" the demon said coldly. Dean tried to back away but Crowley was holding him down one arm across his hips.

"Stop!" Dean screamed.

The next few seconds were a blur. Suddenly Castiel was there, pulling Crowley off Dean and slammed him into the nearest wall

"He said stop" Cas was furious Crowley held up his hands.

"Come on Castiel he's nothing but a whore"

"Thank god Cas I…" Dean started

"Shut up!" Cas sneered at Dean. Dean was surprised he'd never seen the angel so mad.

"You will leave now of your own free will, and never return, or I will kill you" Cas said gravely serious. "Your choice" Cas was shaking. Crowley sneered as he disappeared in an instant and Cas turned to Dean

"You said you wouldn't call him"

"I didn't, he just showed up" Dean tried "Cas I can't explain it, he just…"

"No Dean you don't understand, I was more than willing to accept what happened in the past was partially my fault, but tonight you crossed a line, you let him touch you, you asked him to touch you" Cas approached his eyes burning with anger.

"I won't stand by and watch the man I love being touched by a demon" he spat.

Dean was at a loss for words.

"Cas" he breathed.

"I want you to think real hard Dean, think of all the things we shared all the things we have, and how you're so willing to throw it away for Crowley." Cas looked away. The act hurting Dean more than he could bare.

"Cas please"

"No, I can't be here now" he said lowly. "Not without hurting you" he said.

Dean broke down tears welling up in his eyes

"Please don't leave, Cas I'm sorry" but Cas was gone. Dean was left alone.

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"So that's it?" Sam asked as Dean finished the story. Dean nodded.

"Why did you even start fucking around with Crowley in the first place?" he asked. Dean's eyes were red, swollen from crying.

"I don't know". Sam looked at his brother.

"Cas loves you Dean, he wouldn't have put up a fight if he didn't" he pointed out. Dean wasn't sure anymore. He knew he'd fucked up he'd been fucking up since the beginning.

"Maybe it's better this way" he shook his head "I never deserved him anyway"

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	6. Chapter 6

Ch 6

Every week that passed Dean was worse off than the one before. When he wasn't hunting he was drinking, most nights until he passed out. The less time he had to think about Castiel the better. He had completely shut down, refusing to talk about what had happened, and Sam had given up asking. They were Sundance Wyoming on a case of a vengeful spirit which had went well enough, they were no worse for the where after it was all over. Sam had left Dean at a local dive bar, he wasn't going to watch him drink himself stupid one more night. He headed back to the motel for some much needed sleep.

Dean drank until he couldn't see straight and then he drank some more. It wasn't until late that he finally made his way back to the motel he was fumbling with his key dropping it several times. He cursed falling over as he tried to pick it up, and gave up leaning against the door, slamming his head back into it.

"Hello Dean" Castiel stood above the drunk man. Dean shook his head.

"No" he groaned trying to get to his feet and failing sliding back down the door. He couldn't handle this, he couldn't start crying again. He just kept shaking his head. Castiel sighed as he helped him up by his arm and dragged him a few doors down to an empty room that he opened using his powers and pushed Dean inside. Dean huffed being manhandled but couldn't really put up a fight in his condition. He let the angel sit him on the bed. Cas pressed his hand to Dean's forehead, and suddenly Dean could see straight. He looked around.

"How did I?" he started and stopped as his eye locked onto Castiel's. God he was so much more beautiful than he remembered him. He forced himself to look away before he couldn't.

"What are you doing here?" he asked his voice like gravel. Cas sat down next to him.

"I think we need to talk" the angel said looking at the hunter. Dean nodded.

"Yeah" he said hanging his head he sighed heavily. "Listen Cas I understand why you left, and I don't blame you, I fucked up" he shook his head "I'm pretty good at fucking shit up" Dean said.

"Your problem is you don't think your worthy of love" he said pulling Dean's face towards him. "But you are Dean, you have such a pure heart" Dean began to tear up.

"I'm so sorry Cas" Dean started but suddenly Cas leaned forward and kissed Dean his hand holding the back of his head as he took his mouth heatedly, pushing his tongue into his mouth. Dean reacted instantly wrapping his arms around Cas and kissing him back more eagerly than he tried to. When Cas pulled back he was panting heavily. "Oh Dean I missed you" he breathed kissing him again. Dean moaned into the kiss pushing Cas' coat off his shoulders.

"Cas I missed you so much" he moaned between kisses. Cas pulled back his eyes burning with lust. He pushed Dean down onto the bed and ripped his shirt off. Dean was in a state of shock to see Cas this way. He pulled off deans boots and stripped him of his jeans flipping him over. He pulled a bottle of lube out of his suit jacket before taking off his own clothes. He lubed up his fingers and pressed one inside Dean leaning over him his hot breath tickling the back of his neck.

"You're mine Dean" he growled as he began to finger him. Dean moaned as Cas added a second finger.

"Yes" he moaned writhing under the angels touch.

"Say it Dean"

"I'm yours, ah, only yours" Dean moaned out, he whined as Cas pulled his fingers free and he heard the lube open again.

Cas lubed up his cock and pushed Dean up by his hip forcefully pushing inside him in one thrust. Dean cried out as Cas entered him hard, not even giving him time to adjust before he began to thrust into him at a brutal pace.

"Oh fuck Cas" Dean moaned. Cas pushed Dean's face into the bed as he pounded him hard. Dean was a mess of moans it was so good, too good.

"Is this how you like it Dean, my cock in your ass, moaning like a whore"

"Yes!" Dean cried pushing back into each thrust. He was close he reached between his legs and gripped his cock stroking it fast. "I'm close, oh fuck right there, don't stop!" he breathed. Cas fucked him hard gripping his hips tight as he neared his end.

"Now Dean, cum for me" Cas moaned "say my name". Dean felt the tight heat coiled in his stomach as he exploded,

"AH, AH, YES CASSSS!" He screamed out as his orgasm ripping through him. Cas' hips jerked as he came hard filling his lover.

"Yes Dean, ah, never forget, your mine" he moaned as his hips stilled. He pulled out and collapsed onto the bed next to Dean breathing hard. Dean pulled him close kissing his shoulder wrapping his arms around him.

"I love you, I love you so much" Dean let his tears run free kissing Cas over and over.

"I love you too Dean, more than I can stand" he pushed his hand though Dean's hair. "I absolve you" he breathed. Dean cried holding his lover close. "Now let's start over." He said holding him close and pushing his hand though Dean's hair, as he cried.


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